The Wasted Opportunities Associated with Feeling Old
I am frustrated whenever I hear complaints about the collective seniority of those who have made the effort to attend an event. Even though it is never a comfortable experience to feel that you are of less value than anyone else, there can still be a tendency to wonder wistfully how we can attract young people.
The answer to this problem may lie in celebrating every birthday with as much enthusiasm as the one before. Throughout history, the opportunity to reach adulthood and then continue getting older has always been seen as a blessing. Even now, despite media pressure to present ourselves as entirely unweathered, age should never be covered up or hidden away. We have an absolute right to our identity. Age is a valuable source of wisdom and experience.
The memories I have of my grandparents began when they were already retired and lasted for decades. I enjoy sharing them with others. Their influence was so great that I still regularly ask myself for guidance on what my grandparents would do.
As the only Quaker in a family of many Christian denominations, my grandmother was a committed Seeker after Truth. Her conviction in the inherent goodness of everyone had made her an excellent teacher. All her life she looked for ways to improve the lives of others through kindness and education. She encouraged my love of history by driving me to the door of various historic buildings and then letting me explore them on my own. What an adventure this could be!
Although my Grandpa had a very long Methodist ancestry, he was also a Methodist through choice. He loved the preaching, the expectations associated with a covenant, the worship, and the hymns. Although of a very gentle disposition, Grandpa was very decisive about his values. During the First World War, he had served as a stretcher bearer on the Western Front with the explanation that he couldn’t bring himself to kill a German. After the war, my Grandpa returned to his job in London as a shipping clerk as if nothing had happened. He never spoke about the war or his medals. I learned later that he was very conscientious about staying in contact with former comrades and regularly attended local meetings of the League of Nations.
Married for over fifty years, my grandparents were both strong characters. Although my Grandma said they never had a cross word, some credit for this harmonious marriage should go to the Kent County Cricket Team. That generation understood all too well the human cost of conflict. Watching games of cricket or listening to it on the radio provided the perfect alibi for Grandpa to avoid all unnecessary arguments and discreetly step away.
Looking back over these memories, I feel so privileged to have known my grandparents for so long. The ability to care about others, to listen, believe in, and forgive is characteristic of so many grandparents. Instead of discounting or attempting to hide our age, there is an opportunity, right now, at whatever stage in life we happen to be to celebrate this resource. Grounded on wisdom, love and experience. It is no wonder that so many of these memories created for future generations remain so relevant and last.